i have spent a lot of time feeling internally uncomfortable with my bisexuality. i don’t know if it is the term itself, especially since queer doesn’t seem to feel right for me either, or maybe its just internalized homophobia or its for another reason entirely.
have been considering how to write this post for a while. it is a topic that i don’t want to fuck up. to be honest with you my sex life has always been a bit of a mess. i am a slut. i have sex on the first date. i love masturbation. i love sex jokes and telling my best girlfriends about the details. however i have used sex as a form of harm, i would have sex not because i really wanted it but because it filled the void of intimacy i needed, even if it was just momentarily. i was having unprotected sex, sometimes with strangers.
i recently found myself back in the san luis obispo dating scene. as terrifying and tedious as it is, i ended up going on a nice date where we went downtown for a few drinks. we sat there for a few hours and went back to his car.