religion, gender and the alt-right pipeline

traditional gender roles create unattainable expectations and ultimately perpetuate harmful  behaviors with adults. men, like women, are given mixed messages about what it means to really be a man. they are expected to be strong (physically, mentally and emotionally), natural leaders, sexually promiscuous, dominant, and self-sufficeint. these characteristics that are expected of men create all…

girls against god

A while back, one of my friends said to me “why would I settle for less just because I want it now?” it was a bit of off handed commentary on the current state of our dating lives. She had just suffered through a rough summer with her ex, and my girlfriend had just broken…

acne pains

at this point in my life i have had acne longer than i haven’t. i was first majorly aware of my acne during the sixth grade when i had it all over my chest. my english/history teacher was fluent in audacity and did a lot of really inappropriate things during her time at my middle…

picking up women at a country bar

i have spent a lot of time feeling internally uncomfortable with my bisexuality. i don’t know if it is the term itself, especially since queer doesn’t seem to feel right for me either, or maybe its just internalized homophobia or its for another reason entirely.

the cost of a midori sour

i came to cal poly as a transfer student, already 21 and far removed from underaged party scene. for the past few years in my hometown i was able to use a fake id to hang out at bars with my older friends and coworkers on the weekends. so coming to san luis obispo i…

where do i go from here

a new quarter is upon us and with that the expectation of something new. however, i feel the need to reflect on how my first two quarters at Cal Poly have gone and more specifically how my intimate relationships have been morphed by my move to this new area. 

celibacy and abstinence

have been considering how to write this post for a while. it is a topic that i don’t want to fuck up. to be honest with you my sex life has always been a bit of a mess. i am a slut. i have sex on the first date. i love masturbation. i love sex…

the feminine urge to cry in the engineering bathrooms

“I don’t know, you just give off surfer girl energy. Like, the kinda girl that guys want to be friends with. Ya know, like they wouldn’t want to date you.” He said it as if it was a complement. As if it was everything a girl wants to hear. Oh thank god, I was worried…

what it really means to dress for yourself: an ode to my platform docs

When I turned 19 I bought myself a pair of the shoes I had been dreaming about for years: black platform doc martens, the kind with a clunky zipper up the side. Being a huge supporter of sales and savings, I had never spent that much money on one item of clothing. But these were…

i’m tired of being the cool girl

i want to discuss this phenomenon of a cool girl. in the movie Gone Girl, amy recites a powerful monologue where she discusses that this is the ultimate girl that men look for. hearing this monologue from a powerful, well-developed female character was unforgettable to me. for those that don’t remember the dialogue, it goes…

Reader Confessions #7 – #9

Reader Confessions #7 through #9… you can read more under the Reader Confessions tab!

wait, are you on the pill?

i recently found myself back in the san luis obispo dating scene. as terrifying and tedious as it is, i ended up going on a nice date where we went downtown for a few drinks. we sat there for a few hours and went back to his car.

navigating a college break-up

I met my first love the first day of my freshman year at Cal Poly and it basically fucked up my life until the begining of my junior year. As someone who was always a bit of a late bloomer with a disdain for the romantic world, I was entirely underprepared for what college relationships…

lets talk about your first time

“I had a really fun time with you tonight” he says as you’re sitting on his bed, knees touching and your heart pounding out of your chest. You’re smiling and giddy with attention. He leans in for the kiss and all you can think is “oh fuck I’ve never sucked a dick before!!”

okay so maybe he doesn’t like you

i have come to help navigate what it looks like when a man doesn’t really like you, to save you from heartbreak or from your friends hearing about him. the talking stage can be really confusing and its hard to navigate the feelings of this person.